It’s not like I didn’t know my hair was going to fall out … I just didn’t expect it to happen so fast – and all at once. I’ve only had one chemo treatment and it literally has only been three days since my hair started to fall out. Now … it’s gone.
My hair started coming out in strands on Thursday, not a big deal, I expected to start shedding and for my hair to eventually come out. What I didn’t expect was that after only three days I would lose all of hair, I expected this to be at least a couple weeks, if not at least a month long process, like I would continuously lose a few strands and eventually all my hair would be gone. I would have time to mentally prepare. But I didn’t. Two weeks to the day, after my first chemo, my hair started coming out. Today, two weeks and three days after my first treatment, my hair is gone – with the exception of a few strands.
I also didn’t expect it to hurt – I never really considered for a second that it would hurt. The best way to describe it is this: If you’ve ever worn a ponytail way too tight for too long, and then when you take it out, your head is really tender, but usually only for a short period of time. Except, it’s been hours and my head is still super sore.
When I woke up this morning and brushed my hair, it literally came out in handfuls. It was heartbreaking. I tried to brush it as gently as possible, but it just wrapped itself around the soft bristles of my brush; I had to turn my brush, almost like my hair was a spaghetti noodle and my brush was the fork, and it wrapped itself around the brush. I was in complete shock.
I had plans to take Aiden and his friend to a football day training camp today. I went to bed and had hair … now I have to go in and break it to my son that my hair is coming out and will be gone by the end of the weekend.
I went in and got him and showed him my trashcan full of hair and told him that it was going to be gone completely. He was worried about me … but also, he wanted to know what I was going to do since we had the football training camp. I get it. I was a kid. Having your bald mom show up would be humiliating. So I told him that I would wear a hat.
It’s the middle of the summer and way too hot to put on a wig in the middle of the day and sit outside. I managed to gather what few strings of hair I had left and put them through the back of the hat like a ponytail. My hair was so thin and every time I touched it, more came out in my hand.
I ran into a few people I knew, so it was nice to chat and it was really nice to just be outside.
Then, tonight I debuted one of my wigs and took the boys out to dinner. They really loved my wig, and admittedly, I think I look really nice in it … but when I came home and took off the wig and stared in the mirror, I cried. No breasts, now no hair … thank God I still have eye lashes and eye brows.