This final round of chemo has been an absolute beast. Reducing my last chemo dosage and the two days of fluid hasn’t helped at all.
I hurt all over. It’s been hard to walk because my bones hurt so bad and the nausea … oh the nausea. It’s been months of nausea and I cannot take it much longer.
My eyebrows have been falling out and I’ve been filling them in with an eyebrow pencil, but now, my eyelashes fell out. I didn’t really even notice. I was getting ready to head out to run a few errands … because even though I literally feel like I’m on my death bed, I have a household to maintain and I still have to take care of Aiden … but I was putting on my make-up and when I put my mascara on it got all over my face. OK, what the hell? I know I’m tired and feel like crap, but I know how to put mascara on!
So I wipe my face off and I try it again … the same outcome. Then I look and I realize I no longer have eye lashes. I didn’t realize they were coming out, apparently, and now they’re gone. I can wear my wig or a head scarf, draw on my eyebrows … but my eyelashes? And I’m a bridesmaid in a few weeks at my best friend’s wedding … I can’t go with no eye lashes.
I was looking around online, trying to find out where I could go get eye lashes put on, I didn’t have much time because I had things to do … and when I get a small window of opportunity that I can actually function and I’m not doubled over sick, I have to take it!
Later, I looked online again and everything I found said it was a little expensive and since I lost all of my eyelashes that they may not be able to put fake ones on me because they wouldn’t have anything to glue the fake ones to. Cancer has been extremely expensive and I’m only getting a percentage of my pay on my short term disability, so I can’t really spend money one something that may not work.
A few days later I was talking to one of the mom’s on Aiden’s football team who said she has a friend who works at a salon who does eyelashes. She reached out to her friend to find the cost and told her my issue and this lady, whom I’ve never met, told me to come in and that she would cover the cost for me. WOW! I needed some good news. Also, while I was there I decided to pamper myself and get my fingernails done to show support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
Admittedly, the eyelashes feel really weird and they sort of slip a little; I guess it’s because they’re glued directly to my eyelid, rather than to other eyelashes, which is usually how it’s done, but I just need them to work until my BFFs wedding, I don’t care if they fall off after that.
Stupid chemo. Stupid cancer.