Today is a new day at the beginning of a new week … I’m going to do my best to stay focused on my goals this week and not keep getting pulled back down the rabbit hole in my own mind.
I think one of the reasons I’ve been so blue lately is that I haven’t set any real goals for myself and am not holding myself accountable. When things get tough instead of pushing through it, I fall back into my old ways: shutting everyone out, sleeping/watching TV, and eating crap. Some people drink alcohol, or smoke cigarettes, or do drugs to escape or feel better. I don’t do any of those things, but I turn to food when I feel sad, and if you’ve read any of my blogs in the past few months, you’ll notice I feel sad pretty often. I just felt so rejected and alone battling cancer and going through chemo without any support system – that does something to a person, well, at least it did me. It destroyed my self-confidence completely, but today, I am going to work to think positive thoughts and stay focused on my goals.
When I eat right and exercise (walk) I always feel better, but I keep falling off. Today, I am recommitting myself to a healthy lifestyle. I want to feel good and be working towards my goals. I want to stay focused and not just lay down and quit when things get tough. That is NOT who I am. I don’t like who I have become and in order to start liking myself again – I need to actually BE myself again. And the old Dana would never just lie down when things got tough … that would motivate her to do better and work harder. I want to be her. And today, I am going to take steps towards finding myself again.
There are factors that I cannot control and life is full of stressers for everyone. I need to use them as motivation, not handicaps. I can’t promise that I will not have setbacks … and I acknowledge that I may slip up once in a while and it’s ok to slip … it’s not ok to stay laying down and except defeat.
Here are the small lifestyle changes that I am committing myself to:
– Meal Plan every day (pack breakfast, lunch and healthy snacks for work – AND plan healthy dinner)
– Exercise a minimum of 30 minutes per day (this can be broken up into 3 – 10 minute walks, strength training at home, etc. but must complete at least 30 minutes of activity per day)
– READ! I love reading books, put the phone down and read an actual book for a minimum of 20 minutes per day
– Journal in my private, handwritten journal before bed about my day to “get it off my chest” so I can sleep better
– Log all food eaten and exercise
These are small goals, and I firmly believe starting small will really help me succeed. I want to stay motivated and when I get discouraged or down, I want to do something positive to get through it, not resort to old, bad habits.
I am so blessed and have so much to be thankful for …. I owe it to myself, and to Aiden, to live and be better. I found my cancer early and was able to beat it. I have been given a second chance … now, it’s up to me to live up to my potential and be a better me than ever before!