I Gave the Title “Friend” Away Too Easily

Growing up in Atchison, Kansas, population around 11,000 we were all close. My childhood best friend is still one of my closest (distant) friends.  We waved when we drove past people and spoke to people when in line at the store; pretty much anywhere I went I knew people and it’s still like that.  I … Continue reading I Gave the Title “Friend” Away Too Easily

Express Yourself

I had to wait 4 1/2 weeks until my surgery, on top of the 3 1/2 months I had already been talking to doctors, having tests and waiting. I was so sick of waiting. I have this deadly disease and had been told by my oncologist that it’s one of the most fatal on its own, but … Continue reading Express Yourself

I Laugh to Keep From Crying

I often get told about how brave I am, how strong I am, how well I handled the cancer, surgeries, chemo, and now life after it all. The truth is – I haven’t handled it well at all. I just don’t let that side show; I smile often even when I want to frown. I … Continue reading I Laugh to Keep From Crying

Even Strong People Are Weak

Everyday continues to be a struggle. I have fabulous days – on these days I feel like I can conquer the universe. Other times, I just can’t seem to get it together. I can’t focus, I am sad, mad, and self-deprecating. It feels like the fabulous days are so few and far between any more. … Continue reading Even Strong People Are Weak

I Didn’t Sign Up For All of This

Now that I have completed my chemo and my cancer is in remission, I am doing my best to pick up the pieces and get on with my life … but every time I do, I get a stark reminder that I am not the same. I can’t just jump in and do things like … Continue reading I Didn’t Sign Up For All of This

Feeling Pretty Bummed Out These Days

Christmas is only a few days away and I’m doing my best not to feel so bummed out. I know that I survived cancer, trust me, I count my blessings every day. But I am having a hard time coping with “life after cancer (and chemo).” Not many people rallied around me when I was … Continue reading Feeling Pretty Bummed Out These Days

I Was Mad at God

Even though it was almost a year ago, I remember it like it was yesterday … I had just come home to Maryland from a nice two-week vacation visiting my family and friends in Kansas for the holidays and I was ready to get back to my crazy busy life. It was January so that … Continue reading I Was Mad at God